Tuesday, March 3, 2015

New Customs: Classic Atari Action Figures

A lot of classic Atari titles received very little merch (or none at all), which is why some of these games have endured as classics, in my opinion. If Atari had been shoving merchandise down our throats for every franchise, maybe we all would've grown sick of these games.

Either way, if Atari had decided in the 80's to cash in on their popular games, this is exactly what their toys would’ve looked like (in my opinion). While the last batch of Atari figures I made were constructed from vintage GI Joes, these were made from vintage Kenner Star Wars toys, giving them a classic 80’s look.

And rather than make them only for myself, I made a few extra Missile Command figures and a few extra Berzerk figures to sell. They're all on eBay now for sale.

Click here to buy a Missile Command figure. SOLD OUT!!!!!
Click here to buy a Berzerk figure.
Click here to see a video of an idiot falling off a ladder.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Family Dresses Dead Man as Green Lantern at Funeral to Ensure Kids Never Sleep Again

Don't worry kids, nightmares are a great way to cope with grief. 
There’s an old saying that goes, “Just because somebody loves Green Lantern, it doesn’t mean you need to dress his dead body up like a superhero.” But, Renato Garcia’s family must not have heard that phrase, because they went ahead and dressed his dead body up like a superhero. That's right. A family dressed a dead man as Green Lantern for his funeral. 

I would let this slide if it was “the last wish from a dying man,” but it turns out to be more of a “bad idea from an incompetent family member.” From the AP: “Garcia’s sister explained that she and her brother never discussed funeral wishes.” Yeah, that was made pretty clear when we all saw a picture of your dead brother looking like a third grader on Halloween.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Selling My Custom Made Mega Man and Dr. Light Action Figures on eBay

After coveting the first two custom action figures I ever made for long enough, I’ve finally posted them onto eBay. Check out the link to the listing HERE

And stay tuned in the upcoming weeks for my first small run of customs. I’ll be doing about 10 to 15 classic Atari Figures that are sure to rock off whatever type of genitals you may have.  

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Pacman-Themed Restaurant Coming to Feed Chicagoland Nerds

Artist's rendering of the restaurant and disappointed patrons. 
Brace yourself Chicagoland. A Pacman themed restaurant will be gracing the Woodfield Mall in Schaumburg this January. The eatery is being opened by Namco, and it will be the perfect location to take a date if you’re hoping to dine with 8-bit ghosts or not have sex at the end of the night.

The name of the restaurant, Level 257, refers to the non-existent level that should come after the last stage of the game (it glitches at 256). What better way to market a Pacman restaurant to the general public than by naming it after an obscure Pacman reference that most of the general public won’t understand?

In case any industry people are looking to give Level 257 some competition, here are a few of my own classic arcade themed restaurant ideas:

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Oh, You Know... Just My Kid Setting Up Figures Around the House

There were plenty of things I knew Luke was going to do when he was born. Eat, sleep, poop, cry, destroy property, etc… The one thing that’s surprised me most recently is his insistence on setting up my old figures in rows around the house. He’ll set them up on the coffee table in the morning or on the stairs before bed or in the window sill while hanging out. It’s remarkable.

What’s even more bizarre is the fact that I don’t currently have any figures out on display. So it’s not like he saw me set them up. He’s clearly doing it on his own. Which obviously means that collecting toys is some kind of ingrained, genetic trait that can’t be stopped. Or, it just means that my kid is going to grow up to be just as much of a juvenile asshole as I am. Either way, I couldn’t be prouder of this man. 

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Fetty Krueger is Looking for a Home

My affair with Fetty Krueger was short but memorable. I made him only a few days ago, but he's now up on eBay complete with a custom packaging and everything. He was made from a Funko Reaction Freddy and a mid-90's Boba Fett.

Check out the listing by clicking here.