Monday, May 25, 2015

The Owl Man is Heading to Scotland


A few weeks ago, I found a Safari LTD owl at a craft store and decided to decapitate it for a custom action figure from Lord of Tears. I had planned to keep it for myself to add to my own horror collection. I hadn’t planned for it to catch the attention of Lord of Tears director Lawrie Brewster, who would then go on to share it to his own fans via Twitter and FB.

Needless to say, after cleaning the poop out of my pants from excitement, I chatted with Lawrie online and was overwhelmed by his positive response. Not only is he the nicest guy imaginable, but the dude also makes an insanely scary movie. If Owl Man should be in the hands of anybody, it’s the movie’s own director. So I couldn’t be more thrilled that the Owl Man will be heading to Scotland to find a new home with director Lawrie Brewster and the gang at Hex Media.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Go Buy My Brother's Nintendo Lullaby Album (Now)

As some of you know, my brother records lullaby versions of classic Nintendo music under the name 8-Bit Baby. His third full-length album was just released last week, and it's insanely good. If you've never listened to any of his music before, look down at your feet, and then run your head into the nearest wall as fast as you can. 

My brother's music is fully licensed with Nintendo, and it's been featured on Game Informer, DNAinfo, Polygon, and more. Keep in mind, these Nintendo lullabies aren't just for people with kids. So don't feel like you need to haphazardly procreate with some stranger just as an excuse to buy his album. 


His newest album is a compilation of classic NES and SNES music, with everything from Castlevania to Mega Man 3. It's available on Loudr, iTunes and Spotify, and you can buy any of the 8-Bit Baby albums by clicking here. 

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

New Customs: Classic Atari Action Figures

A lot of classic Atari titles received very little merch (or none at all), which is why some of these games have endured as classics, in my opinion. If Atari had been shoving merchandise down our throats for every franchise, maybe we all would've grown sick of these games.

Either way, if Atari had decided in the 80's to cash in on their popular games, this is exactly what their toys would’ve looked like (in my opinion). While the last batch of Atari figures I made were constructed from vintage GI Joes, these were made from vintage Kenner Star Wars toys, giving them a classic 80’s look.

And rather than make them only for myself, I made a few extra Missile Command figures and a few extra Berzerk figures to sell. They're all on eBay now for sale.

Click here to buy a Missile Command figure. SOLD OUT!!!!!
Click here to buy a Berzerk figure.
Click here to see a video of an idiot falling off a ladder.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Family Dresses Dead Man as Green Lantern at Funeral to Ensure Kids Never Sleep Again

Don't worry kids, nightmares are a great way to cope with grief. 
There’s an old saying that goes, “Just because somebody loves Green Lantern, it doesn’t mean you need to dress his dead body up like a superhero.” But, Renato Garcia’s family must not have heard that phrase, because they went ahead and dressed his dead body up like a superhero. That's right. A family dressed a dead man as Green Lantern for his funeral. 

I would let this slide if it was “the last wish from a dying man,” but it turns out to be more of a “bad idea from an incompetent family member.” From the AP: “Garcia’s sister explained that she and her brother never discussed funeral wishes.” Yeah, that was made pretty clear when we all saw a picture of your dead brother looking like a third grader on Halloween.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Selling My Custom Made Mega Man and Dr. Light Action Figures on eBay

After coveting the first two custom action figures I ever made for long enough, I’ve finally posted them onto eBay. Check out the link to the listing HERE

And stay tuned in the upcoming weeks for my first small run of customs. I’ll be doing about 10 to 15 classic Atari Figures that are sure to rock off whatever type of genitals you may have.  

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Pacman-Themed Restaurant Coming to Feed Chicagoland Nerds

Artist's rendering of the restaurant and disappointed patrons. 
Brace yourself Chicagoland. A Pacman themed restaurant will be gracing the Woodfield Mall in Schaumburg this January. The eatery is being opened by Namco, and it will be the perfect location to take a date if you’re hoping to dine with 8-bit ghosts or not have sex at the end of the night.

The name of the restaurant, Level 257, refers to the non-existent level that should come after the last stage of the game (it glitches at 256). What better way to market a Pacman restaurant to the general public than by naming it after an obscure Pacman reference that most of the general public won’t understand?

In case any industry people are looking to give Level 257 some competition, here are a few of my own classic arcade themed restaurant ideas: